anyway you want it, rachel.

[noah puckerman]

YOU'VE GOT A LOT TO SAY FOR THE ONE THAT WALKED AWAY I GIVE YOU TAKE THAT'S THE WAY IT'S ALWAYS BEEN OH HOW DO I KNOW IF I SHOULD STAY OR JUST GO. --

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Why I suddenly wanted to see Rachel Berry was beyond me. I wasn't really one of her 'best friends' or one of her friends, really. I did want to be, though, as hard as it may seem. I didn't really want to be hostile towards her anymore. She didn't hold the same amount of... of amusement that she had done a while ago. At least, not by me hurting her. Instead, I wanted to make sure that she didn't get hurt. I felt strangely protective of her and had done since our meeting in the 7-eleven during the summer holidays. Truth was, I'd kind of missed her in a way. It wasn't the way her voice sometimes reached an annoying level or the fact that she had something to say about every single thing. It wasn't because I missed the way she called me Noah when I'd insisted that everyone called me Puck. I didn't really understand why I missed Rachel Berry, but I did. It was there, the emotion. The feeling. I could feel and missing Berry was just one single piece of evidence that my feelings were existent. They may not have shown very often, but they were there. I already thought Rachel knew that I felt some sort of friendship want towards her, anyway. Recently, she'd seemed to have taken to me more, as well. The New Directions auditions were more pleasant in the way she spoke to me. In fact, even though the name 'Noah' bugged the hell out of me, I didn't really mind it when Rachel said it. There were only a few exceptions and since I couldn't get Rachel to call me Puck, or be bothered arguing with her about how I should use my birth name, I felt that I may as well leave her to call me what she wanted. And if that was Noah, then Noah I was. Anyway, back to why I was making my way to the Auditorium.

I knew Rachel would be there. She always was. If I hadn't seen her leave school before, I'd have actually not been surprised if she lived here. I didn't know how anyone could, though. there were seats, a stage, a piano and curtains here. Nothing more, nothing less. It felt like ( when nobody was around ) that this room was useless and had no meaning. Of course, I'd been around when the room had been full of people. It was only then that I realised that Glee Club meant something. Not only to us, but to the people who came to watch. I had to admit, as I got closer to the doors of the auditorium, I wasn't entirely sure if my idea to go and see Rachel would be wise. What would she think? Would she think I wanted to get into her pants? Heh.. don't get me wrong. She was a hot Jew and I would most definitely tap that at any other time. She'd probably think I was going to rape her or throw something at her like I usually did. Would she try to rebound on me? Throw herself at me and demand that I made out with her? What could I do then? I'd make out with her, of course, and then forget about it. What? No, shut up brain. I wouldn't. I'd push her away and tell her nothing was going to happen now or ever. Maybe she'd just tell me her problems and then I could tell her mine about Beth. Maybe she'd come with me to see her as I knew Quinn would break down if she saw her daughter with a different mother. Not that I wouldn't be sad, but I didn't want to put Quinn through that just yet. I'd rather see how she was and then tell Quinn the updates. Hopefully Rachel would come with me to see her. Great, now I had an excuse made up for the reason of coming to the Auditorium, I could go inside happily - or not - and tell her I wanted her help.

I finally reached the doors of the auditorium and walked inside, clearing my throat and looking around the big room. I walked up the stairs and onto the stage, putting my hands into my pockets and looking around. I smiled when I finally caught sight of a figure, one that looked familiarly like Rachel Berry. I walked to the piano and sat down, running my hand lightly down the ivory and black keys. I had done some piano lessons when I was younger but I wasn't really that good. I sighed and then used one hand to play a soft tune, looking towards the figure as I did. Hopefully, it would be Rachel and she'd hear the piano. That way, she could come to me and I would have to use minimal effort. That would be perfect.


( 818 words. )( template to me. )( banner to tumblr. )( yay puckleberry <3 )

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[rachel berry]

( IT'S REALLY GOOD TO HEAR YOUR VOICE )
{ saying my name, it sounds so sweet }

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It was no secret that I sometimes came here at lunch. To be honest, it was the only place where I felt welcome at the moment. Quinn and Noah usually spent their lunchtimes making out or just staring into each others eyes. Tina, Artie, Kurt and Mercedes never seemed to want me around and the rest of the club were too preoccupied with being preps or jocks. Even if I was their friend, I was still Rachel Berry and wherever I went I always felt like a third wheel. No, it definitely wasn't a secret that I spent most of my time here. But what was a secret was why I was here today. I was here, in the April Rhodes Civic Pavilion, because I was heart-broken. Seriously, it felt like I was experiencing a cardiac arrest. It was awful and all I wanted to do was crawl into a hole and wait for the pain to pass. This morning I'd gone onto the computer to message Lorelai about Invitationals, and I'd received yet another message from Emily Jordan. I wanted to block and delete her, but I was scared that she'd just find a worse way to harass me if I did. But that wasn't what triggered it, not really. I thought about forwarding it to one of my close friends so they could reassure me, but I realised I had no one. I couldn't send it to Lore because she had her own problems. I couldn't send it to Seth because I couldn't talk to him without feeling completely embarrassed about the other night. I couldn't talk to Finn, I was pretty sure he hated me. And the one person I wanted to talk to, I couldn't. I'd managed to get through the morning without talking to anyone, in fact, I didn't even put my hand up in class. Which was really unusual for me.

Having all of this pain over Jesse bottled up inside of me was really getting me down. So the moment the bell for lunch had rung I'd grabbed my bag and rushed through the corridors to the auditorium. I knew no one would be here because New Directions was pretty much the only active arts program this school had and we didn't rehearse today. So it was no surprise when I pushed open the door and I was greeted by an empty room. I sat down on the front row and pulled out a peanut butter and jelly sandwich I'd made this morning, taking one bite out of it and suddenly losing my appetite. I didn't feel like eating, I felt like screaming and punching someone and tearing out Emily's hair with my bare hands.. But I couldn't do that, because screaming would be bad for my voice, and the last thing I needed was a sore throat just before Invitationals. Smoothing out my skirt, I stood up and dropped the remains of my sandwich in the bin. It seemed like a waste, but that was the least of my worries at the moment. I climbed the steps up onto the stage, running my fingers along the piano and looking out at the rows of empty chairs.

Something I used to do when I was feeling down was stand, looking out at the auditorium, and close my eyes. I'd imagine I was somewhere far, far away, in front of a crowd of fans. I'd made it in the world of music, I was no longer the loud girl from glee club with the big nose and the absurd fashion sense. I was Rachel Berry, number one recording artist, the biggest name on Broadway. I was Fanny Brice, I was Elphaba, I was Maria. I was on par with Barbra Streisand, Idina Menzel, Bernadette Peters. Closing my eyes, I did just that. But for the first time in my life, it had no effect on me. Frowning, I scrunched my eyes close tighter, forcing out the happy thoughts. But nothing was coming to me. I opened my eyes once again, looking back at the seats devoid of human life. It was like I was at a concert and no one had shown up. Turning around, I fled from the stage so I was standing behind the curtain. I dropped my bag to my feet and sat down on one of the boxes that stored music equipment. I knew why my technique hadn't worked, though. Usually when I did that, it was because I wanted some reassurance that I was talented, smart, that I was better than all the high school shenanigans, that I was more than the bullies thought I was. But what Emily had been saying, about her affair with Jesse, made me feel like I was worthless. I wanted to feel beautiful, treasured. I wanted to feel loved. I wiped my cheeks when I felt a few tears rolling down them, and straightened my back so I wasn't hunched over (I didn't want to develop bad posture). Maybe coming here had been a mistake. Maybe instead I should have surrounded myself by 'friends'.

Just as I was considering leaving, I heard the door open. Raising my eyebrows, I stood up so I could see who I was. I couldn't believe who I was seeing. Noah Puckerman. Didn't he have other things to do, like throw a football or clean Quinn's teeth with his tongue? I tucked a strand of my hair behind my ear, watching him as he came and sat at the piano and began to play a soft melody. I was wary at first, maybe he and Quinn had broke up and he wanted to have sex with me. But I saw more in him than that. He was my friend, right? I walked up behind him and put one hand on his shoulder, taking a seat next to him on the piano stool.

"Hey, what are you doing here?" I asked him, looking from his face then down to his hands that were dancing across the keys. "I didn't know you could play the piano. You're so much more talented than you let on, Noah." I said with a smile, looking down at my hands. I hoped he couldn't tell I'd been crying. I was Rachel Berry, I was meant to be strong for the team. When I'd shown weakness before Regionals, we had lost. I couldn't let New Directions know that I still wasn't one hundred percent on my game. Sighing quietly, I rested my head on his shoulder and continued to listen to him play the piano.

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( COMING FROM THE LIPS OF AN ANGEL )

hey, this thread belongs to noah and rachel!.
it has 1097 words for you to read. the wonderful
breanna made this template. enjoy!

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[noah puckerman]

YOU'VE GOT A LOT TO SAY FOR THE ONE THAT WALKED AWAY I GIVE YOU TAKE THAT'S THE WAY IT'S ALWAYS BEEN OH HOW DO I KNOW IF I SHOULD STAY OR JUST GO. --

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I was still wondering how Rachel would react to me being here. I knew it was strange for me to come to the Auditorium by choice as I could be sitting with Quinn right now. The truth was, I didn't know where Quinn was at the moment. I'd seen her earlier today but she hadn't spoken to me. Why? I didn't know. Maybe I'd done something wrong in the 'rule book of girls' and it was so terrible that it meant she had to ignore me for a few days. We'd only just started dating so I knew it wasn't an anniversary that I'd missed. And it wasn't the anniversary of the day Beth was conceived because I had that date engorged in the back of my mind. Perhaps it was just something she was going through. Maybe it was her time of the month and it was better that I just stayed clear out of the way and let her get on with it. Maybe Rachel would know. They spoke now, didn't they? Last time I checked, they weren't at each other's throats like before. That was because Quinn no longer felt like she was in love with Finn? I knew that because she was in love with me. She'd told me that and I'd told her I was in love with her. I was so sure of it, right? I didn't feel attractions to any one else. I was sure of that.. or at least, at the time I was. I was Noah Puckerman. I couldn't be tamed, not really. I would be a nice guy for a while but, as a load of other guys, I knew that maybe something might go wrong. It always did for me. I'd noticed that recently, things had been going horrible for me. Maybe it was because all summer I hadn't had my best friend around me anymore. I missed Finn loads. Honestly. I missed our talks, the times when he was full on Captain Obvious. I missed telling him everything I'd done and him doing the same. Truth was, I loved the great lummox, as much of a gorm he was. I wouldn't have him any other way, truthfully. That was another thing, I hadn't seen him for ages. Maybe I should've gone to look for him instead of coming here. But he wouldn't understand, would he? When I needed help about a girl, Finn would be quite the opposite of helpful. He'd try to help but it would end up with him just pointing out that she was being moody. Something I'd already discovered for myself. No, Finn's help wouldn't do. Rachel's would.

I let my eyes drift away from the figure of Rachel to my hands on the keys. I continued to play the soft tune, not really knowing what it was called. Not knowing if it was an actual song. It just sounded nice. I moved my other hand, turning slightly to face the piano, and began to play the tune out more. I smiled to myself as it came together. I'd never really bothered with playing the piano because we had Brad. Then again, maybe if Rachel realised I was good, she'd ask me to play it for her and then I could get better. I didn't like attention on me when it was to do with the arts, much anyway, but I guess having one more thing that I was good at being known wouldn't be too bad. I could play guitar, everyone knew that. I could sing, everyone knew that too. Maybe if people knew I could play the piano too, they'd have more respect for me in the arts department. Not that I didn't already feel respected, I just wanted to be able to do something else. No doubt Rachel would tell people I could play if she thought I was good. I took my mind back to the piano, humming along to the tune and then closing my eyes slowly as I played. I would've sung along too, had I known any lyrics which would actually go with the tune I was playing. I only opened them when I heard someone moving. I kept my eyes on the keys, sighing slightly and then humming again once I got into the tune as before.

I turned my head when I felt her hand on my shoulder, smiling at her for a second and then looking back to the piano keys. I didn't stop playing when she sat down but I had noticed that her eyes looked more red than I'd thought before. I looked back to her when she sat next to me, smiling once more and then keeping my eyes on her as she spoke. I shrugged lightly at her words, continuing the make the tune go on. "Hey," I whispered "I came to talk to you, as a matter of fact." I added, my voice still quiet and soft. I chuckled lightly when she said I had more talent than I let on. I rolled my eyes, bringing the soft tune to an end. I looked back to her - I'd looked back down at the keys - and then raised my eyebrows. "I had lessons when I was younger but I'd never really been in the musical department then." I reminded her with a light grin. I took a deep breath, moving my arms from beside me and putting them around her in a hug. I hadn't hugged her for a while so I didn't know what her reaction would be. I kept my arms around her, biting my lip. I knew she'd been crying now because of her voice. The only problem was, who was she crying over? I took a deep breath, not releasing her from the hug just yet. "So, who am I beating up? Jesse St. Jockstrap or Hall?" I asked her softly, smiling.


( 988 words. )( template to me. )( banner to tumblr. )( asdfghjk. <3 )

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[rachel berry]

( IT'S REALLY GOOD TO HEAR YOUR VOICE )
{ saying my name, it sounds so sweet }

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I wanted to talk to Noah about my troubles, I really did. He had nothing to gain from telling the guys on the football team, they wouldn't care. And he wasn't the kind of person to tell the glee club, just to cause drama. It wasn't that I didn't trust him, because I did. He had proven he was a good friend and an honest person when it came down to it, but that wasn't the reason I couldn't talk to him. I was frightened he'd judge me. I know, it sounds ridiculous. He was Noah Puckerman, he'd slept with practically every girl (and a guy, it seemed) in Ohio, and gotten his best friend's girlfriend pregnant. Surely he couldn't judge me because he was far worse. But what was I supposed to tell him? That I was madly in love with the guy who had destroyed me a few months ago? He'd be furious, he hated Jesse and if he knew I had feelings for him then maybe he would hate me too. I couldn't tell him about Seth either. Not because he'd think I was a slut for making out with someone who I wasn't in love with, but because I was embarrassed. Seth hadn't been into it, I was sure. He didn't find me attractive or sexy. He didn't want to have sex with me, or touch me, or hold me. And I'd thrown myself at him like some desperate whore. I'd ruined our friendship and damaged my self-esteem. I used to really enjoy life. For a short period when I was dating Jesse I had felt on cloud nine. Then gradually, everything had gone down hill. I'd found my mother, and she didn't want me. Jesse left me without so much as a second thought. We'd lost at Regionals. Finn had abandoned me. And now I was making and losing friends more often than Brittany made out with someone.

He stopped playing the piano and I frowned slightly, not liking the silence. I was worried he'd just leave now. He'd come here to play an instrument (probably because Quinn had found out about Seth and therefore it was the only exercise his fingers were getting), and now he was going to go. Then he spoke and I looked back up at him, the light catching my eyes and making my vision slightly blurred. He'd come here to talk to me? He probably wanted some relationship advice, and he'd come to the wrong place. Or at least, he'd arrived at the wrong time. Any other day I'd be happy to give him pointers for Quinn. They were my friends and seeing them happy made me happy. But I'd seen enough happy couples today and if I had to see another I might scream. I smiled despite my current mood, however, when he told me he had had lessons when he was younger. He should really embrace his musical side more often, he obviously had an underlying passion for it. And when he did play an instrument or sing, he was really good. Maybe if someone encouraged him he would take part in musical activities more often.

But before I could prepare a motivational speech to persuade him to dedicate his life to the arts, I was in his arms. Safe, in his arms. Or so, it felt like that. Like there was an invisible barrier and all the hurt and pain had been shut out. I moved closer and closed my eyes, resting my head on his chest and feeling a few more tears roll down my cheeks. I wanted to be confident again, and maybe letting out the pain and talking to someone about it would help me accomplish that goal. His next words made me laugh, albeit a half-hearted giggle. I looked back up at him and smiled slightly, trying to ignore the tears on my cheeks.

"Well, I don't want you to beat anyone up." I told him, raising my eyebrows as if to warn him, tapping his nose playfully with my index finger. "Will you swear not to tell anyone why I'm upset? Because if you do I'll never talk to you again. And you wouldn't want that." I smiled awkwardly and then cast a glance down at the piano again, trying to find a best way to word what was upsetting me. I straightened up a bit so I didn't feel as small and vulnerable and, making sure I was looking him square in the eyes, I opened my mouth and told him what I had been keeping from everyone else. "I'm in love with Jesse. Oh Noah, I don't know what to do. I don't want to be, but I am. I can't help it. I hate it so much and at the same time I'm utterly head over heels for him." I gushed, trying to not break eye contact. "And yet he's still having sex with all the girls in Vocal Adrenaline, or at least, that's what Emily says. I'm worried that if I get back with him he won't want me for very long because.. because.. I'm a virgin and I'm worried about having sex." Maybe I shouldn't have told Noah that. It made me sound like some pathetic little girl who thought humping was something camels did. "I also... I made out with Seth. And he didn't want me! Or at least, I don't think he did. Why would he? I have no sex appeal. I can't kiss properly. I'm too innocent. Oh Noah." I moved closer to him, snuggling into his side. I just hoped he wouldn't laugh in my face. That would hurt, a lot.

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( COMING FROM THE LIPS OF AN ANGEL )

hey, this thread belongs to noah and rachel!.
it has 947 words for you to read. the wonderful
breanna made this template. enjoy!

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[noah puckerman]

YOU'VE GOT A LOT TO SAY FOR THE ONE THAT WALKED AWAY I GIVE YOU TAKE THAT'S THE WAY IT'S ALWAYS BEEN OH HOW DO I KNOW IF I SHOULD STAY OR JUST GO. --

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I loved that, even though Rachel had found out something embarrassing about me, she was acting like nothing had happened. Since the night she'd found out about me and.. me and Hall, she'd never once been hostile to me. Only on that very night. I was actually glad that somebody knew and was even happier that it was Rachel Berry. She had two gay dads and therefore, she couldn't exactly be against a one night stand which neither of us could remember. ( Us being me and Seth. ) I knew I still needed to tell Finn. How could I not? After all, he was my best friend and we'd always told each other everything. I didn't want him to judge me, though. I'd never exactly been pleasant to Kurt about liking guys and even though I was deadly sure that I felt not attraction whatsoever to Seth Hall, I couldn't help but think Finn would turn around, laugh at me and then go and tell Karofsky. That way he'd have dirt on me and would be able to ruin my life in just one second. Then again, this was Finn we were talking about and he was my best friend. Ever since the Quinn being pregnant situation, we'd grown closer, if anything. Obviously we'd had the arguments and fights beforehand but now.. I felt like he was my brother again. So that was that, I was going to tell Finn about my single gay night with Seth Hall.. and hope for the best that he didn't turn around and tell every soul in the school. I knew Rachel wouldn't but things had a way of getting out. Maybe I'd have to give Jewfro a little talking to if he let on that he knew something. My mind went back to Rachel, still waiting for her to answer my question.

I wanted her to trust me, I really did. I didn't like the thought of Jesse hurting her once more because I knew by now that she didn't deserve to go through that. Nobody deserved to go through that. I hoped that wasn't how I'd once been. Breaking everyone's hearts. If I was anything like Jesse St. Jockstrap, I think I might actually just crawl into a hole and die. Just the thought of being like that Vocal Adrenaline kid made me cringe. I shuddered slightly, not liking the thought now. I tried to push it away but the silence wasn't exactly helping my thinking. I focused back on Rachel, rolling my eyes at the thought which was still dancing around in my head. No, no. I was nothing like Jesse. At least, not anymore. I didn't want to be like that anymore. I had Quinn and that was the only girl I needed in my life - in that way, of course. I had Captain, my guy on the inside of Carmel. I had Rachel, the person who I could confide in for anything - apart from sex but then, why would I need to ask for advice on sex? I had Finn, my best friend, slightly gormless to everything but still my brother, all the same. I had plenty of people who were there for me - and vice versa - in New Directions but it was only Quinn who I wanted to have a family with. After Beth had been born, I guess I'd just gotten a little sentimental. And the best bit was, I didn't even know what that word meant.

I half felt like she would move away and tell me to stop being such a jerk, but then I felt her move closer and smiled, still hugging her tightly but gently. I wanted to make her feel safe from anything that might have been bugging her. To be honest, I thought of Rachel as a little sister. I mean, she was there for me and I should be there for her. At this moment in time, I felt like the big brother who would kick anybody's ass for her. I would, honestly. Mainly because I'd take pleasure in knocking Jesse down a peg or two. Breaking his pretty little nose and maybe a black eye would do it. Just enough to cause him pain. None of which would have ever amounted to the pain he caused Rachel. In order to do that, she'd have to get back with him and then break his heart like he had done to her. I knew Rachel wouldn't do that to Jesse. I frowned when she told me she didn't want me to beat anyone up. That was no fun. I'd do it anyway, she knew that. I looked down at her and then wiped the tears from her cheeks. Great, she was crying. I sighed and then shook my head. I didn't want her to cry. "No beating people up..got it." I said, my tone not hiding the disappointment. I raised my eyebrow when she tapped my nose and then laughed lightly, nodding at her next words. "I promise not to tell anyone, not even Quinn. 'Cause you're right, I wouldn't want you to stop talking to me." that was true. I moved my arms from around her as she straightened up. They would still be there if she wanted them back, of course.

Her first words confirmed what I'd thought earlier. She was in love with Jesse and that meant this whole thing was already a mess. I sighed deeply, frowning and then stopping. I bit my lip, listening to the rest of her words. I would wait for her to finish before I spoke again. I nodded, showing that I understood. It had been the same with me and Quinn. No matter what anyone said, it wouldn't stop me loving her. I wanted her and only her. I knew Rachel usually got what she wanted because she was so stubborn. But I couldn't help wishing she would let this one go. He was no good for her. I held back a scoff when she said it was what Emily said. Since when had Rachel listened to her? I sighed when it was over and then wrapped my arms around her again, hugging her close to me. "To be honest, Rachel, if I told you to leave Jesse alone then I'd just be a hypocrite. But I.. I don't want to see you get hurt again and you already are, like this." I mumbled quietly, resting my cheek on her head and then taking a deep breath. "I don't think you should listen to everything that Emily girl says, either. Sure, I hate Jesse but.. in his defence, I highly doubt that - after you - he would drop his standards. You understand that?" I smiled down at her for a small moment and then carried on. "Trust me when I say that Seth is into you. Forgetting everything that happened with me and him, he likes you." I rolled my eyes when she said she had no sex appeal. "Look, Rachel, I know I pressured you when we dated but if you're not ready to have sex and you're worried about it, then you need to put your foot down and say 'no' firmly. It's not the best advice coming from some one who's not a virgin, but still, it's advice at the end of the day." I wasn't really wise, I just had a few good ideas hiding in my brain. "Honestly, I wish I'd waited." I told her quietly, sighing. "And you have plenty of sex appeal." I mumbled.


( 1265 words. )( template to me. )( banner to tumblr. )( i only like the last paragraph. sfghbjitkre. )

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[rachel berry]

( IT'S REALLY GOOD TO HEAR YOUR VOICE )
{ saying my name, it sounds so sweet }

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It was as I wiped one of the stray tears from my cheeks that I had an epiphany. I don't know why I hadn't had it sooner, or why I was receiving it now. Maybe because I'd spent the whole day moping Jesse, but whatever the reason, it occurred to me. I was Rachel Barbara Berry. I was confident, self-assured and at some times boastful, but I wasn't the sort of person who let things get to her easily. Or at least, I had never been like that before. Sure, when Jesse broke up with me I'd been in pretty bad shape, but I managed to get over that in a very short period of time, and before I knew it I was on the stage showing Carmel our impressive funk number. So why was I letting guys walk all over me now? I shifted my position on the piano stool so I was sitting upright again, my back straight and my eyes concentrating on the piano keys. I had been right, though. I knew I had needed to get it off my chest to someone, and now I had I felt a bit better. Or should I say, a lot better. Like a weight had been lifted off my shoulders.

And suddenly, I understood why the epiphany had occurred here and now.

I felt like bursting into song. Defying Gravity seemed very fitting now, especially the first line. Tucking some of the hair that had fallen in my face behind my ear, I smiled silently to myself. I was going to leave this auditorium a changed person. Every time Jesse or Seth or Finn entered my mind I'd put a wall up, because the most important thing in my life right now, and the most important thing there'd ever be, is my career. I couldn't perform flawlessly if all my attention was devoted to some guy who I probably wouldn't remember in years to come. I decided to tell Noah of this sudden realisation, and see what he thought. But first, he needed to shut up. He was giving me advice that, although he didn't realise it, I no longer needed. I watched him as he spoke, waiting patiently for his mouth to stop moving. It felt like an eternity, but I made sure I listened to the words, no matter how irrelevant they were now. I knew deep down that Jesse hadn't slept with those girls, so it made me wonder why I had been so keen to believe it. Maybe I didn't really want to be with him. Maybe I didn't feel the same about you, but I wasn't ready to accept that, because I'd had so little closure with our relationship. This confused me, however. If I didn't want Jesse, who did I want? I had to admit it wasn't Seth, he was one of my best friends and I'd confused my feelings of friendly love with being something more. And surely it wasn't Finn, when I'd been so set against being with him over the summer? He didn't want anything to do with me any more, in fact, I was beginning to doubt he even wanted to be my friend. So, was that why I wanted him? Did I always compulsively want what I couldn't get? If that was true, before I know it, I'll be falling for Santana or Kurt. I smiled slightly at that thought.

When he complimented me, I grinned and felt myself blush slightly. I could feel my self esteem returning to its usual high, and little did Noah know, he had helped that. And just like that, he finished what he was saying and it was down to me to somehow word by revelation. I wondered if he would be happy to know that the old me was returning, or if he'd soon long for the old, more contained version of myself to return. I knew I could be a little overpowering at times, but my intentions were always good. I found I didn't have a bad bone in my body, I couldn't deliberately hurt someone. Like when I had wanted Finn, but Quinn had him. I hadn't tried to sabotage their relationship. Sure, I might have done a few things to try and win Finn over, but they hadn't been manipulative and they certainly hadn't been diabolical. So I hope that Noah would know that despite the fact I was going to be as loud and untamed as usual, that I would never be malicious or stop being his friend. I'd just be a hell of a lot more independent than I had been since I'd broken up with Finn and Jesse.

I bit my lip. A few moments had passed since he'd stopped talking and I still hadn't said anything in reply. I looked back at the piano, and pressed a few random keys as I waited for the right words to come to my head.

"Thanks for the compliment Puckerman, but it takes more than that to win me over, just so you know." I said, looking back up at him with a smile to show I was joking. He'd probably laugh in my face, I mean, all he had said to me last time was 'wanna make out?' and he had me. But I had been desperate and lonely back then, and I had to remind myself that I was now a confident, brighter version of Rachel Berry. "I had a sudden change in my frame of mind, Noah. I begun, sub-consciously judging his facial expression for the slightest reaction. "It was like I was seeing my behaviour for the first time! I've been so pathetic, why didn't you try to tell me? But I'm putting that behind me, starting now. So what if Jesse is screwing some girls on the side? Who cares if I don't have a boyfriend? I miss the old me! I miss walking down the corridors and feeling higher than everyone, because recently I've been to wrapped up in my guy drama to remember that I am better than all the losers and burn-outs in this school. I'm not saying that you are, but a high majority of our peers are. Let's face it, can you see Brittany working a high-paid job?" I said with a light smile, nudging his arm gently. I hoped that those words hadn't been a death sentence for our friendship. I really hoped he'd see the good intentions that were lying underneath my harsh albeit honest words. But if he didn't, then he'd just become another guy who threw slushies at me, right? Right.

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( COMING FROM THE LIPS OF AN ANGEL )

hey, this thread belongs to noah and rachel!.
it has 1104 words for you to read. the wonderful
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[noah puckerman]

YOU'VE GOT A LOT TO SAY FOR THE ONE THAT WALKED AWAY I GIVE YOU TAKE THAT'S THE WAY IT'S ALWAYS BEEN OH HOW DO I KNOW IF I SHOULD STAY OR JUST GO. --

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I kind of hoped that the advice I was giving her would mean something. It would be pointless me sitting here, telling her things that might make what she was going through feel better if she already knew that. Or if she wasn't even going to bother listening to what I'd told her. I didn't speak much and I hoped I was using my breath and voice for reasons which would become useful for her eventually. If she turned around now and told me she didn't care what I thought, she just wanted someone's shoulder to cry on, then I would probably just walk away. I'd feel humiliated. Even though I knew Rachel wouldn't just turn around and tell me she didn't care about my feelings. I knew that no matter how much she denied it, she still loved me loads deep inside. Not exactly in that way but she loved me, nevertheless. I mean, I was very loveable, right? That was the main reason I'd become friends with Rachel in the first place. Because she loved me for me and knew that even though I tried to be tough, I was really not on the inside. Not much, anyway. I could honestly break down at any point. If someone mentioned Beth and the fact that she'd been taken away from me and Quinn. It was just.. just too hard to handle. And that was the reason I knew that I wasn't all together heartless. The fact that I loved someone. More than just one person. In fact, since last year, I'd started to love a lot more. I was in love with Quinn. I loved Beth, even though she was no longer mine and Q's. I loved Rachel because she was always there for me. I loved Finn because he was my best friend and he always would be, no matter what. I loved Seth because he understood me. I loved Glee club. I just felt like I had one big family as I knew I was started to feel disconnected from my actual one. It was quite nice having a family who wouldn't judge you like your parents would. I felt safe telling them things because I knew that in the end, everything would turn out to be perfectly fine. As long as they were there.

I smiled when she blushed, chuckling softly and then shifting my position slightly so I was turning to look at her more. I took a deep breath, watching her do what seemed to be composing herself. She didn't need to be strong for me, though. She knew that, didn't she? I wasn't going to judge her anymore because she wasn't strong enough for us all. It wasn't like any of us cared whether her being down would kill our moods. Going back to the whole family thing, if she was hurting then we needed to help. At the end of the day, she mattered more than winning some stupid Glee club competition. She was a human. What could a trophy feel? It couldn't feel you cleaning it and buffering it up. It had no feelings. It wasn't alive, not like Rachel was. She needed someone to be there for her, to hold her when she cried and to just give her advice. I knew she couldn't always be as strong as usual and I was in a good enough mood to just pretend I hadn't noticed how small she'd seemed when I'd first saw her in here. I would drop that and never bring it up again. I didn't need to. She could be strong when she wanted to be and that was good enough for me.

I cleared my throat as I waited for her to speak, raising my eyes when she finally did. I laughed lightly at her words, rolling my eyes and then shrugging. "No problem, Berry." I told her, smirking lightly and then shaking my head. "It wasn't a plot to get you to sleep with me, don't worry. I have smoother moves than that now." I winked at her playfully and then tilted my head slightly when she said she'd changed her mind. "Oh?" I waited for her to expand on her statement, kind of wishing I hadn't when she continued to talk. I wasn't insulted by her words per say. It was just a shock, I guess. I looked down at the piano stool, waiting for her to finish before shrugging lightly at her last words. "I'd like to agree with you, Rachel, but.." I shrugged and looked back to her face. "People can surprise you. I mean, look at me. Would you have thought that a guy like me would join Glee club? And when I did, had you ever thought that we'd be sat here right now having this conversation? I was a jock, Rachel. A big shot - or so I thought. I'm not offended by your words, no, but.. people can surprise you." I shrugged and then laughed at myself. "Then again, I guess you're right. I can't see Brittany becoming a female President anytime soon." I laughed and then shook my head, still smiling at her. "It's good to have you back, Berry." I whispered quietly.


( f-off words. )( template to me. )( banner to tumblr. )( i don't even want to know how many words. sorry it's so suckish. )

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[rachel berry]

( IT'S REALLY GOOD TO HEAR YOUR VOICE )
{ saying my name, it sounds so sweet }

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It didn't take long for me to realise I'd offended him with my words. I'd admit I hadn't worded it particularly flattering, but I'd never intended to act condescending. I hoped he understood that I wasn't that sort of person, no matter how egocentric I could come across at times. Looking down at my skirt, I fumbled with the pleats, distracting myself with the repetitive process of folding and smoothing the material. I definitely felt like I had had a massive weight lifted from my shoulders though, however harsh I had been when I had declared my revelation to Noah. He spoke, finally, and I looked back up at him, a few strands of hair falling in my eyes, and I instinctively tucked it behind my ear, smiling and then laughing lightly at his first words. He never specifically denied that he wanted to sleep with me, but then again, he was Noah Puckerman. He wanted to sleep with everyone. He reminded me of a sex addict on extra testosterone. But under all the unruly, boyish hormones, he was a lovely guy, and I respected him for the way he could show another side to himself when he was around me. It was touching, really. I moved one of my hands from my lap to his knee, giving it a gentle squeeze and flashing him one of my friendliest smiles. I hoped he wouldn't take the gesture as flirtatious, but just in case he did, I moved my hand swiftly back, biting my lip lightly. The last thing I wanted right now was to cause drama between him and Quinn, who had only been nice to me over the last few months.

Then he brought up the comment I had made about me feeling better than everyone else, and as I had already presumed, he took great offence. I could feel the colour creeping onto my cheeks and I looked up at him, listening to his words and nodding slightly.

"I get that people can change, but deep down they still have the glimmer of their old selves. Even if you are a sweetheart now..." I paused to stroke his cheek affectionately and found myself grinning rather insanely, "I'm pretty sure part of you is still calling for you to be immature and downright mean, right? But I guess you're right, and I'm sorry for my wording. I never meant to come across as supercilious." I finished, dropping my hand from his face and giggling like a little girl when he said he couldn't see Brittany becoming president. Sure, I wanted to see a female president in my life time, the first, going boldly where no woman has yet to venture, but somehow I didn't think that person would be Brittany of all people. To say she was a little.. slow, was an understatement. But I didn't care for her any less, she had a good heart and that was all that really mattered, right? I loved all the members of New Directions, even if I struggled to show it at times. I knew that my constant need to succeed sometimes clouded my vision at times and made me act regrettably, but in the long-run they were some of the closest friends I had ever made. I was about to tell Noah that, but as I opened my mouth to speak he said something. Usually, that never stopped me, once the train left the station there was no stopping it, but he surprised me.

He told me it was good to have me back and I felt that stupidly large grin plaster itself back onto my face. He had been so nice to me recently, like my big brother, and he was certainly helping me get over all my recent heartbreak. I played a few more keys to fill the brief silence that followed, then I turned back to face him, taking a deep breath and sitting poised and positively bursting with excitement at the idea that had formed in my mind. "I stopped by the music store the other day, Noah. I paused, hoping he wouldn't ask why, because the reason would probably just piss him off - I had been hoping to catch sight of Jesse and sing with him again, I missed our duets. When he didn't interrupt me straight away, I continued. "And as I was flipping through the selection of sheet music, I found a book that caught my eye. Over the summer, my dads and I went to New York City and saw a few Broadway shows. They were all glorious, of course, and just fuelled my already endless dreams further, but one particularly inspired me." I got up from my seat on the piano stool and walked across to my bag which was slumped against the bottom of the stool I had been sitting on. Crouching down, I found the book in my bag and pulled it out. I had originally intended to show it to Mr Schuester and suggest a few numbers for Sectionals, but this seemed like the perfect opportunity for a duet- and I had the perfect one in mind. "This has all the sheet music for the songs featured in the 2010 revival of Promises, Promises. It was such a superb show, Kristin Chenoweth was unstoppable as always and Sean Hayes was splendid. Anyway, I was thinking, what better way to reintroduce myself than a song? Do you have your guitar, Noah? I sat down next to him once again, opening the book on 'I'll Never Fall In Love Again', my hands clenching and unclenching with anticipation. I hadn't done too many duets recently, and I didn't recall doing one with Noah ever. But I was sure our voices would compliment each other perfectly, and what better way to find out than giving it a spin?

[/justify][/font][/size][/blockquote][/blockquote][/color]

( COMING FROM THE LIPS OF AN ANGEL )

hey, this thread belongs to noah and rachel!.
it has 976 words for you to read. the wonderful
breanna made this template. enjoy!

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