watch me break, [ lorelai + elliot ]

[lorelai anchors]

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[/b][/size] IF THERE[/size][/color]'[/font]S ANYTHING TO SAY[/size][/color],[/font]
^{- - - - - - - - if there's anything to do. if there's any other way. i will do anything for you. - -}[/i][/size][/font][/size][/center]

I found myself marveling in the magic that was Rachel Berry’s powers of persuasion a lot lately. It had been a long time since we talked, but when we reconnected over the summer, she certainly didn’t miss a beat. But I found myself trusting her. I came to find joy in New Directions, despite the club making my anxiety higher than it should have, and so when she told me that I should go to a group for people with HIV, I was completely skeptical, but I decided to go anyways. I mean, she even had the information right with her when she proposed the idea to me. I couldn’t say ‘no’, and I’m not a liar. Not anymore.

The group was alright. I’d been afraid that I’d see someone I know, but so far, I hadn’t. No one (from what I could tell) went to McKinley High. The group was in Akron, anyways, so I didn’t feel so terrible, especially since I hadn’t really seen any of the students from Carmel High, either. It was a nice, tight-knit group of about six regulars which I was slowly starting to fit into. There was Carlos, a middle-aged homosexual Mexican who had a heart of gold and spoke very quickly. There was Amy, a forty year old who had the prettiest eyes and always had a smile on her face. Harriet was an older woman, a trooper, and never failed to brighten everyone’s day up. There was Andrew, who was a younger, scruffy looking man who didn’t often speak and had a bit of an attitude but his story was inspiring, and there was Linda, his girlfriend, who always seemed to keep him in check. Finally, there was a boy named Elliot, who seemed the friendliest of the group. He was certainly the most talkative, but not in a bad way. He always had something nice to say, a way to spin things in a positive manner, and I liked it when he contributed to the group discussion. He seemed closest to my age and with his sunny disposition, he never failed to brighten up a bad mood -- even if I’d never spoken to him before. Or any of them, for that matter.

I liked to keep anonymous, despite the fact that they all knew my first name. I hadn’t revealed more than that, not even my story, and instead it just helped to listen to everyone else talk. This was my third session, and a newcomer had broken out into an emotional fit, which certainly had my eyes watering. I found myself a simultaneous mix of relieved and disappointed when the group broke for the night, most making a beeline for the coffee and cookie selection they had laid out on a table in the back. It was a bit corny, I could admit that, and I was almost surprised that they didn’t have a basket of ‘free AZT’ -- but I supposed everyone needed something to calm their nerves.

Me, I was too jittery. I was afraid that if I ate, I’d get sick on the long drive home. But, then again, the chocolate chip cookies look extra delicious…

I looked up. Andrew and Linda were walking out hand-in-hand; I saw a hint of a smile on his face, and I grinned a little myself. A few others were comforting the emotional newcomer in the back, and I glanced over at the table. Exactly five cookies left. I bit my lip, glancing around the room before rising to my feet, swinging my bag over my shoulder and pulling out my keys. I slowly made my way to the table and, as though I were afraid I’d get in trouble, I slowly, hesitantly took one of the cookies.

There. I smiled softly in brief satisfaction, taking the smallest of bites. Goodness. I really had missed cookies.

NOTES: OH, SUP. COOKIES.
TAGGED: MR. ELLIE.
OUTFIT: HERE.
CREDIT TO: FOREVER COURTNEY! @ CAUTION.
MUSE FROM: JGL'S BAD ROMANCE, WUT

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[elliot mccoy]

I wasn't exactly being the earliest of birds today. I knew I had the HIV meeting today but the truth was, I couldn't really be bothered to go. I wasn't feeling too good today and I knew that was mainly because I hadn't gone to bed in a good mood. Last night was one of the rare occasions where I'd argued with my mother. It wasn't really a bad argument but it had been about my HIV. She'd told me that she wanted me to get better and that she was wondering if it was her fault I'd injected myself and resulted in getting HIV. The argument had started when I'd told her it wasn't her fault and she had to stop blaming herself. She'd started crying and cursing herself for being a bad mother. I'd shouted at her to tell her to stop being stupid and that I loved her. Then I'd gone to bed. Now I was laid in bed still, staring at the clock and wondering if a) they'd miss me at the HIV meeting or b) if I'd still make it in time if I got ready now. I sighed, sitting up slowly and then looking towards my bedroom door. No doubt my mother would come and knock on the door in about five minutes. She'd want to get me out of the house so she could blame herself without me stopping her. I smiled when I heard her familiar knock and then shouted to her to tell her I was nearly ready. I got out of bed and walked to my wardrobe, taking out some clothes and then pulling them on. I walked out of my bedroom, smiling to my mother and then looking towards the counter.

"I made you some cookies to take to the group." she told me quietly. I chuckled lightly and then sat at the table, pouring myself some cereal. I added the milk and began to eat, nodding slowly. "Thanks." I smiled at her, eating my breakfast in silence after that. When I'd finished, I took my bowl to the sink and washed it. "I'll get off now." I told her, picking up the bag of cookies which my mother had packed. I walked to the table, kissed her cheek and then walked out of my door, grabbing my jacket as I did. I quickly made my way to where the group meetings were. I parked my car and then walked inside, smiling when I realised I wasn't late. I followed Linda and and Andrew in. I gave everyone a friendly smile. I felt in a much better mood now than I had done earlier. I took my place beside the girl called Lorelai. I hadn't heard her speak before and I really wanted to know what was going on with her. I knew about how the others had got their HIV but I didn't know how she'd got hers. I cleared my throat and then looking at the cookie she was eating. I politely declined one and then sat forwards, looking around the room. "Kay, so, I know you all have cookies from the group, but my mother made some for you all. And I have to say, they're excellent." I grinned and held the bag of cookies up. "I'm not just saying that because she's my mom, either." I laughed. I offered the cookies out to everyone and then turned to Lorelai.

"Hey." I smiled at her. "Want another cookie? Made by Mama Mccoy." I showed her my best friendly smile and then put the bag on her knee, winking with a light chuckle and then turning back to the others. "These are good, Elliot!" said Carlos, giving me the thumbs up. "Carlos! How're you? You look well." I smiled at him and he just grinned. I sat back in the chair, taking a deep breath and then taking a bite of my own cookie. I liked it here. Yeah, these were my brothers and sisters. My family. Even the ones who didn't speak much.

[lorelai anchors]

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[/b][/size] IF THERE[/size][/color]'[/font]S ANYTHING TO SAY[/size][/color],[/font]
^{- - - - - - - - if there's anything to do. if there's any other way. i will do anything for you. - -}[/i][/size][/font][/size][/center]

The meeting had yet to begin, and as usual, I was ready to settle back for a couple of hours worth of listening. I was an excellent listener. I didn’t find a lot of people who would listen to me; I mean, sure, there was Rachel, but I hated to bother her with things. She had her own set of problems with Seth and Jesse and Emily, and I felt dreadful putting my own issues on her. And of course the subject was too touchy to bring up to my parents, because I was always afraid that they would give me that look I hate so much. That “we’re disappointed in you” look, and knowing that I couldn’t do a thing about it killed. And, of course, no one else knew -- I didn’t have anyone else to tell. The only other people I could consider my friends, even remotely, were Quinn and Puck and they had their own problems to deal with. I didn’t want to try and dump mine on there, too. I didn’t mind all that much. Everything I got, I deserved; I was content (to some extent) settling for the little relief I got just listening to everyone talk, knowing that I wasn’t alone, knowing that I couldn’t complain if they didn’t complain.

I settled down into one of the chairs, nibbling absentmindedly on the cookie. Most of the people had settled in by the time I finished it, and I swallowed at the exact moment Elliot sat beside me, beginning to offer cookies to the group. I smiled softly as I watched him, yet made no move to be bold enough to reach for one myself; that wouldn’t fit my personality very well. Instead, I watched as people took them slowly out of the bag, then bit my lip as he turned to me. He spoke softly, and set the cookies on my leg, causing my gaze to flit downward to the treats.

This meant he wanted me to take one, right? I was pretty sure it did.

Slowly, I reached in to grab one, pulling it out. I took the bag, then, and slowly reached over to set it on his leg, but I had to catch it as it slipped off. I frowned, trying again, but the damn thing wouldn’t balance. I let out a soft sigh, biting my lip in concentration as I tried again. It didn’t work. I set my own cookie down on my knee and, determined, held the bag of cookies to his while hesitantly reaching for his hand, gently grabbing it and delicately forcing it to hold the bag down to his knee. I removed my hands then and grinned with a false feeling of accomplishment, offering him a soft giggle. I glanced up then, and nodded. “Th-there we go,” I murmured, smiling slightly, “A-and thank you, f-for the, uhm, c-cookie.”

I turned back, then, and took a bite of the cookie -- goodness, it was ten times better than the last. Definitely worth the seconds, if I did say so myself. If I got the chance, perhaps later I would compliment him, on the off-chance I found him standing alone; I didn’t want to bother him even more than I undoubtedly already had. I pushed a curl behind my ear and observed the group, waiting for things to begin.

NOTES: OH, SUP. COOKIES.
TAGGED: MR. ELLIE.
OUTFIT: HERE.
CREDIT TO: FOREVER COURTNEY! @ CAUTION.
MUSE FROM: JGL'S BAD ROMANCE, WUT

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