( a real nowhere man ) `open

[cameron beckett]

and if you were with me tonight, I'd sing
TO YOU JUST ONE MORE TIME, A SONG FOR
a heart so big, god wouldn't let it live

I was never much of a mall guy. The girls fawning over new outfits and boys trying to impress girls was often a little too much for me to handle. It was hard enough dealing with teenage hormones and angst at school, I tried my best to avoid it on my free time. There was just something about the mall that I found incredibly superficial and it wasn't because it served as a beacon for capitalism. The only reason I ventured out this way in the first place was because my uncle handed me a wad of money and told me to go buy clothes for school. The money was from my parents, who I haven't seen in months. This time, it was Europe. It was always someplace different.

I walked through the large, open corridors, scanning the stores as I passed by, looking for something that I would consider wearing. Abercrombie and the GAP weren't really my style, so my pilgrimage was proving to be pretty hopeless. The mall itself wasn't very big, but then again, neither was Lima. I was silently thankful that I didn't have to deal with hordes of stampeding people, trying to blow as much money in record time. I also found myself feeling more and more obscure as each second passed. I didn't recognize a single person in the entire mall, probably because I didn't really know anybody. I just started classes a couple of days ago and still hadn't made any real connections. When you spend your entire life shifting from city-to-city, making friends becomes second nature to you. It's a skill I mastered out of necessity, otherwise my life would be very lonely.

As I continued walking, I noticed a few girls and guys staring at me, probably because I was an unfamiliar face. I smiled in their direction and they quickly continued on their way, pretending like they never saw me. They were probably unsure if I was the type of person they wanted to be caught speaking with. Even I was unsure. I was always pretty popular everywhere I went, but popularity shifts from place to place and having no friends or contacts put me at a disadvantage. I ran a hand through my hair, ruffling it a bit as I continued walking. I stopped in front of a record store and a smirk found its way onto my face. I reached into my pocket to toy with the bills my uncle had given me. I was supposed to buy school clothes, but did he really expect me to blow it on clothes? I figured that music was always a much more reasonable investment, so I ventured into the store.

[rachel berry]

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LITTLE DARLING, THE SMILES RETURNING TO THE FACES
little darling, it seems like years since it's been here
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<sup>I was absolutely, positively furious. One of my fathers had invited his sister and her family around and my obnoxious cousin had walked straight into my room and ripped my Les Mis poster and broke a Barbra Striesand CD. I think I cried more than she did when I shouted at her. But with a bonus to my allowance, I had decided to go down to the local record store and see if the had the CD and poster in stock. I somehow doubted they'd have the poster, this town was so uncultured, but if they didn't have it I would buy it from eBay. Walking into the small shopping centre, I pulled a face at a man selling hot dogs. How people could eat animals was beyond me, what had they ever done to us? My whole family (room-trashing cousins aside) supported PETA and sent regular donations.

When I reached the music shop, the look of disgust disappeared and was replaced with a smile. I walked inside and straight over to the CD section, striding up and down the alphabetical aisles. I stopped when I reached the S section, looking through the selection of artists until I found the CD I was searching for. I picked it up and checking to make sure no one was around, I hugged it and grinned widely, before prancing off towards the posters, the CD grasped tightly in my left hand. I stopped in front of the rack and flicked through, blinking rapidly at all the rude, pornographic ones. It simply summed up this town and its inhabitants.

I walked away, nonchalantly, hoping no one thought I was interested in the blown up pictures of naked women. Head in the air, chin up, I headed to the checkout. A loud crash sounded from behind me and I looked over my shoulder, raising my eyebrows and rolling my eyes at the toddler. Children just loved wrecking things recently, didn't they? I looked back ahead, but not quick enough, because I walked straight into a teenage guy around my age. I dropped my CD in the collision and gasped, bending over and picking it up as fast as possible, scared someone might stand on it. I looked back at the person I had walked into. He was a new student at our school, I recognized him from the corridors and a few of my classes. So to avoid later retaliations, I decided to apologise. "Sorry! I didn't hurt you did I?" I asked, smiling and tilting my head when I finished speaking. I was the picture of innocence, as usual.</sup>

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LITTLE DARLING, I FEEL THAT ICE IS SLOWLY MELTING
little darling, it seems like years since it's been clear
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tagged; cameron
lyrics; here comes the sun by the beatles
listening to; nothing by no one!
word count; 432 w/out code
outfit; skirt, top, cardigan, knee high socks and flats.
credit; to brooke (template) and sarabi! (picture) from caution

[cameron beckett]

and if you were with me tonight, I'd sing
TO YOU JUST ONE MORE TIME, A SONG FOR
a heart so big, god wouldn't let it live

I wasn't really looking for anything in particular, so I decided to browse up and down the isles, seeing if anything caught my eye. As I maneuvered my way around the record store, I turned a corner and collided with another person. I stumbled back slightly, but we didn't run into each other hard enough to knock ourselves over. She was a girl around my age with long, brown hair and a familiar face. That was strange. She must have went to McKinley, because how else would I recognize her? She dropped a CD and bent over quickly to pick it up, as if she were afraid someone might see.

"Sorry! I didn't hurt you did I?"

"I'm so sorry!"

[/b] I replied at the same time as her, reaching my arms out in front of me.

I was so quick to apologize that it took me a moment to realize that she'd asked me if I was okay. Of course, I was fine; I was much taller than her and fairly well-built, so it would take more than our small collision to cause me harm. I straightened the leather biker's jacket I hand on, then stared directly into her eyes. A crooked half-smile appeared on my face.

"Don't worry about it, I'm fine. I'm the one who should be asking you."[/b]

Good thing she wasn't one of those catty girls. I knew how vicious they could be and I had no desire to get wrapped up in any of the high school girl drama. I had heard all about the infamous Cheerios and their cutthroat tactics, something I hadn't seen for myself yet but was certain I'd come across soon enough. This girl seemed sweet, almost innocent, hence my smile. It was refreshing and definitely a relief.

"Are you okay?"[/b] I asked her gently.


[/size][/blockquote][/blockquote]

[rachel berry]

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LITTLE DARLING, THE SMILES RETURNING TO THE FACES
little darling, it seems like years since it's been here
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<sup>I looked down at my CD, checking the case for scratches as he spoke. He seemed really chivalrous, which was nice to see. I was fed up of all the jocks at school who deliberately tripped me up or threw slushees at me. Or the cheerleaders who shouted insults at me or teased me in the bathrooms. I understood people didn't like the threat of a confident, talented person who wasn't afraid to be different, but the bullying hurt after a while. I never let people knew it was getting to me though, that was kept for my own mind.

I nodded when he asked if I was okay, looking back up from my CD and smiling. "I'm fine, thank you" I said, looking past him at the checkout in the distance. I would feel kinda rude if I were to walk away now so I stood there until he left. It grew awkward after a while, though, so I decided to start a conversation. I mentally flicked through a series of conversation starters, discarding ideas such as 'have you seen the weather?' or 'what is your favourite musical?' remembering I hadn't even introduced myself yet. "I'm Rachel Berry, a junior at McKinley High." I said, nodding slightly.

Most people from my school would have walked away by now, they really, really didn't like me. But he stayed, which meant a lot to me. I looked up at him, suddenly feeling really short. He was cute, and had a nice smile, but I shouldn't be thinking like that, as I was meant to be Finn's girlfriend. Or at least, I thought I was. We hadn't talked much over the summer and I was worried that he thought being romantically involved with me would damage his reputation. That was one thing I appreciated about Jesse, he didn't care what his group thought about him dating me. Well, until he dumped me in front of the whole of both glee clubs and committed a mass murdering of unborn chicks. I worried I had done that thing where I got to involved in my thoughts and blinked, looking back to the guy I had just spoken to, awaiting an answer.</sup>

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LITTLE DARLING, I FEEL THAT ICE IS SLOWLY MELTING
little darling, it seems like years since it's been clear
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tagged; cameron
lyrics; here comes the sun by the beatles
listening to; those you've known by lea michele, jonathan groff and john gallagher jr!
word count; 364 w/out code
outfit; skirt, top, cardigan, knee high socks and flats.
credit; to brooke (template) and sarabi! (picture) from caution

[cameron beckett]

and if you were with me tonight, I'd sing
TO YOU JUST ONE MORE TIME, A SONG FOR
a heart so big, god wouldn't let it live

I noticed that her eyes were inspecting the CD in her hands. I followed them and realized that she was holding a Barbra Streisand CD, and I was immediately reminded of my mother. When I was a kid, my mother used to play show tunes and sing along. I had grown quite fond of them myself and Funny Girl was one of my mother's favorites.

"Barbra Streisand, huh? Let me guess... you're a Funny Girl fan?"

I wasn't trying to be nosy, but she just struck me as the type. Most sixteen year-old girls didn't listen to Barbra Streisand, but I knew that plenty were fans of Broadway.

"I'm fine, thank you," she replied, looking up from her CD with a smile.

I nodded. I was glad she wasn't hurt or upset with me, because I couldn't handle making an enemy so soon in a brand new city. A few seconds passed with silence, neither one of us sure what to say. It would be rude to just leave her there so I tried to think of something else to say, but she beat me to it.

"I'm Rachel Berry, a junior at McKinley High."

"I'm Cam. Well, Cameron, actually. I just moved here. I'm a senior at McKinley."

[/b]

So we did go to the same school after all. I thought as much. Even though I didn't know her personally, I'd heard her name a few times since I started at McKinley. Mostly whispers in the hallway, gossip and insults. I made a habit of not believing anything I heard that was whispered amongst teenage girls.

"Well, Rachel Berry, it's nice to meet you."[/b]


[/size][/blockquote][/blockquote]

[rachel berry]

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LITTLE DARLING, THE SMILES RETURNING TO THE FACES
little darling, it seems like years since it's been here
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<sup>I was expecting him to walk away after saying his name, but instead he asked me a question I'd never expect him (or anyone from our school) to ask. It was the kind of thing I'd only ever heard from Jesse or Mr Schuester. "Barbra Streisand, huh? Let me guess... you're a Funny Girl fan?" My mouth dropped slightly, and I was speechless. How did he know? It was one of my favourite films, and it was the musical I wished I had been around to see (my fathers had taken me to see a recent production of it, but it wasn't the same without Barbra). "I love Funny Girl! So much. I actually performed Don't Rain On My Parade last year at a competition with New Directions, the glee club. And if I say so myself, I blew them away." I grinned, restricting myself from asking him if he wanted to hear me sing. My bad mood had definitely been lifted.

He was a senior, so slightly older, and even though he wasn't in the same year I was sure he had heard rumours about me. People talked about me everywhere, and not the good kind of talk (people say all publicity is good publicity, but this kind wasn't). Even after Quinn stopped hating me so much, I still had to look at new, disgusting doodles of me on the bathroom walls, and read insults that had been stuck to my locker. I hoped he wasn't going to walk away now he knew who I was, as some people did. But then he said it was nice to meet me, which was nice to hear, it made a change. I decided to continue the conversation on, as he obviously liked music.

It would actually be a good chance to have a conversation with someone who really enjoyed music. The people in New Directions liked to sing, but only Kurt knew much about musicals and show tunes, and I was pretty sure he hated me (he was probably jealous). "So you like music? I love it, it's my whole life. I want to be a Broadway actress when I'm older, and I've been competing my whole life" I boasted slightly. That was one of my downfalls, I often got carried away with stressing on my strengths, and most people found it elitist, big-headed and annoying. But when all I got from my fellow students was hate, someone had to say something nice about me, even if that person was myself.</sup>

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LITTLE DARLING, I FEEL THAT ICE IS SLOWLY MELTING
little darling, it seems like years since it's been clear
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tagged; cameron
lyrics; here comes the sun by the beatles
listening to; nothing by no one!
word count; 417 w/out code
outfit; skirt, top, cardigan, knee high socks and flats.
credit; to brooke (template) and sarabi! (picture) from caution

[cameron beckett]

and if you were with me tonight, I'd sing
TO YOU JUST ONE MORE TIME, A SONG FOR
a heart so big, god wouldn't let it live

"I love Funny Girl! So much. I actually performed Don't Rain On My Parade last year at a competition with New Directions, the glee club. And if I say so myself, I blew them away."

I chuckled lightly at her enthusiasm.

"I bet you did. It's one of my mom's favorites. She used to play the soundtrack all the time and it grew on me after a while."

[/b]

Most people didn't expect me to be the kind to listen to show tunes, but I listened to pretty much everything. I was more into rock and roll myself, but I could appreciate a good musical. Les Mis was always my favorite. When I lived in New York, I actually got to see it performed on Broadway.

"So you like music? I love it, it's my whole life. I want to be a Broadway actress when I'm older, and I've been competing my whole life."

"Yeah, music is pretty much my life, too. My mother's a singer, she's always touring around the country and whatnot. Someday I will, too."[/b]

The only real dream I had was to become a professional musician, to follow in my mother's footsteps and tour around the world. I wasn't very hooked on the fame idea; sure, it seemed nice, but fame and money wasn't what was motivating me. I simply loved music and I wanted to spend the rest of my life being able to do something that I loved so much.

"Broadway, huh? Well, I haven't been in Lima or at McKinley for very long, but I've heard you're quite the performer. I bet if you stick to it, it'll happen,"[/b] I told her.

I firmly believed that if someone put their mind to something, they could accomplish anything. In some cases it took talent, which I knew she probably had, being the star of the Glee Club and all. I may not have known her at all, but from the few minutes I spent in her presence, I could sense how driven she was. A lot of people fizzled out and gave up on their dreams, but with that kind of drive, I knew I'd probably be hearing of her Broadway debut eventually, once high school was over and behind us.


[/size][/blockquote][/blockquote]

[rachel berry]

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LITTLE DARLING, THE SMILES RETURNING TO THE FACES
little darling, it seems like years since it's been here
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<sup>His mom was a singer? I was kinda jealous. I didn't exactly have a musical family, apart from my surrogate mother who was director of the rival glee club, Vocal Adrenaline. But it would be great to have a singer for a parent, you could meet all sorts of famous personalities you admire and it would be so easy to break into the business because they'd have people in high places on their speed dial. "What's her name? I might have heard of her. And if she likes show tunes, I probably will have." I smiled and listened to him carry on talking. He'd heard about me? As a performer? Not the short girl with the annoying voice and big nose? I was flattered.

I didn't know where he'd heard that, unless he hung around the staff lounge or was Finn's friend. Finn was always kind to me, complimenting me and defending me, but we weren't very experienced as a couple. We'd been friends for a year now, and flirting for most of that time, but I didn't know if he'd choose his popularity and reputation over our relationship. And I didn't really want to find out. "I hope so. I'd love to play Eponine in Les Mis, or Elphaba in Wicked, I adore those musicals and their songs. I auditioned for Glee Club with On My Own. Of course, Funny Girl would be a great musical to be part of too." I added, nodding and looking back up at him, still smiling.

Cameron, although I hadn't known him for very long, seemed like a really nice guy. I didn't know many really nice people and it would help if I could spend a bit more time with him. The end of summer party in Akron was coming up, and McKinley were meant to be crashing it. I didn't want to see Jesse or Vocal Adrenaline if I would be attending the party alone. I hadn't got a chance to mention it to Finn, and if anyone else from New Directions was going, they probably wouldn't want to go with me. I had been good friends with Tina, until the whole West Side Story situation, and Kurt, Mercedes and Artie all found be unbelievingly annoying. It was obvious the footballers and cheerleaders wouldn't go with me, so I decided to ask Cameron. "Are you going to that Carmel High party? I want to, but last time I saw my ex outside of competition, it didn't go so well. And I really, really don't want to go to the party on my own, it would be a death wish." I said. Whether the death wish was the death of myself or defenceless chicks depended on Vocal Adrenaline's mood. My eyes went back to my CD, sort of nervous of the rejection I was probably going to face.</sup>

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LITTLE DARLING, I FEEL THAT ICE IS SLOWLY MELTING
little darling, it seems like years since it's been clear
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tagged; cameron
lyrics; here comes the sun by the beatles
listening to; nothing by no one!
word count; 473 w/out code
outfit; skirt, top, cardigan, knee high socks and flats.
credit; to brooke (template) and sarabi! (picture) from caution

[cameron beckett]

and if you were with me tonight, I'd sing
TO YOU JUST ONE MORE TIME, A SONG FOR
a heart so big, god wouldn't let it live

"What's her name? I might have heard of her. And if she likes show tunes, I probably will have."

My mother's band wasn't largely famous, so I'd be surprised if Rachel had heard of her. They were an indie band that had been around for about fifteen years, touring around North America and parts of Europe. My father was her manager, they were always on the road and they always took me with them. They thought it would be best for me to go to an actual high school, live in an actual city, which was why I lived with my uncle in Lima.

"Oh, her name's Abby Beckett. She's not that famous here. Surprisingly enough, she's bigger in Europe."

[/b]

It never made a lot of sense to me. It was great though, because it meant I got to see the world at a young age. I had already traveled to France, Germany, England, Spain, Sweden, and multiple other countries. I loved big cities, I loved being a part of something much larger, so I was still getting used to Lima, which was significantly smaller than anything I had experienced.

"I hope so. I'd love to play Eponine in Les Mis, or Elphaba in Wicked, I adore those musicals and their songs. I auditioned for Glee Club with On My Own. Of course, Funny Girl would be a great musical to be part of too.

I chuckled again. I didn't know one Broadway nut who didn't have a soft spot for Les Mis. It appealed to men, women, and in my opinion, it was the best musical. When I had been in France years ago, my mother had dragged me around, trying to give me a taste of the history and a better sense of the musical. My mother was great, she was always doing things like that. It made me miss her.

"Ah, Les Mis. Gotta be my favorite. I've seen it on Broadway a couple of times."[/b]

"Are you going to that Carmel High party? I want to, but last time I saw my ex outside of competition, it didn't go so well. And I really, really don't want to go to the party on my own, it would be a death wish."

I had heard whisperings of a party in the halls of McKinley and while I'll admit, I was intrigued, I was in the same boat as Rachel; I didn't know anyone yet and while I could always go to the party by myself, it would be incredibly awkward. I wasn't sure if the McKinley kids welcomed me, let alone the kids from Carmel.

"Yeah, I was going to go, but I don't know anybody from either schools. We should go together,"[/b] I suggested.

It didn't want to weird her off or make her uncomfortable, since we barely knew each other, but she was the nicest person I'd met so far in Lima and she'd said herself that she was afraid to go alone. I wanted to get to know her better, since she seemed like the kind of person who would make a good friend. Sure, I could tell she was a little... enthusiastic, but it was better than being an unmotivated bump on a log. This party would be a good way to meet other people, too, and neither of us would have to go through the awkwardness and (potential) humiliation alone.

[/size][/blockquote][/blockquote]

[rachel berry]

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LITTLE DARLING, THE SMILES RETURNING TO THE FACES
little darling, it seems like years since it's been here
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<sup>I hadn't heard of his mom, and wasn't sure how to reply. If I said I didn't know her, I'd sound like I didn't know much about music, but if I said I knew her he'd start talking about her albums and songs and I wouldn't know what to say. But he'd probably understand I was more into show tunes anyway, so I decided to tell him the truth. "I haven't heard of her, but I follow musicals more than lesser known singers." I said, nodding slightly and looking past him at the checkout, rolling my eyes at the queue that had suddenly appeared as if from nowhere. At least I could afford to talk for a bit longer now. I smiled at his next words. The fact that he had a favourite musical was impressive, it was even better that the musical was one of my favourites too, and that he had seen it on Broadway and not just the Lima amateur acting guild.

It was incredibly refreshing to have a conversation with someone whose musical knowledge wasn't limited to eighties soft rock or the top 10 most downloaded tracks on iTunes. Instead of having to put all the work into the conversation and explain my words, I could just let the talk flow. I was going to tell him just that when he spoke again. And invited me to a party. He had invited me to a party. You could put emphasis on the words 'invited', 'me' and 'party' and the statement would still be unbelievable. No one invited me anywhere, except if it was to Akron to spy on Vocal Adrenaline, a low key date or some sleazy guy wanting me to go to his house and make out with him (usually Noah). For a few moments, I was speechless.

Then, I was the opposite. I had so many things I wanted to say. First of all, I wanted to say yes, I didn't want to go to the party on my own and neither did Cameron. Then I wanted to say no, in case Finn invited me and I had to explain to him I was going with a guy I had met at the record store. Our relationship was on thin ice as it was. Then I wanted to hug him and thank him over and over for inviting me to a party. I wasn't sure which of these options to go with, so I just opened my mouth and let my instincts take over. "That... that would be good. I mean, I'd.. have to check with my boyfriend but if he wants to go with the footballers I'd be happy to go with you. You seem like a genuine guy, and I won't have to face the people who hate me the most alone." I said. Going with my instincts had been a good idea, what I had said didn't tie me down to one arrangement but it didn't blow him off either. I was worried I was blushing, so I looked back down at my CD again.</sup>

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LITTLE DARLING, I FEEL THAT ICE IS SLOWLY MELTING
little darling, it seems like years since it's been clear
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tagged; cameron
lyrics; here comes the sun by the beatles
listening to; on my own by rachel : D (appropriate. haha)
word count; 511 w/out code
outfit; skirt, top, cardigan, knee high socks and flats.
credit; to brooke (template) and sarabi! (picture) from caution

[cameron beckett]

and if you were with me tonight, I'd sing
TO YOU JUST ONE MORE TIME, A SONG FOR
a heart so big, god wouldn't let it live

"I haven't heard of her, but I follow musicals more than lesser known singers."

I figured as much. She really seemed to be into the whole theatre scene, which made sense, considering she wanted to be a Broadway star. When I was in New York, I knew a ton of girls in my classes who had dreams of making it on Broadway or the big screen. A lot of them were super obnoxious and a touch pretentious, but I didn’t get a sense of that in Rachel. She seemed completely genuine, which was something I had to respect.

I waited for her to answer my suggestion. I watched as she hesitated for a moment before she opened her mouth and words started to flow out freely again.

"That... that would be good. I mean, I'd.. have to check with my boyfriend but if he wants to go with the footballers I'd be happy to go with you. You seem like a genuine guy, and I won't have to face the people who hate me the most alone."

I smiled and nodded.

“Yeah, of course.”

It only made sense that she should check with her boyfriend, but I had to silently wonder why she’d even question whether or not they were going to the party together. Didn’t being someone’s boyfriend/girlfriend automatically tie you to them? It was assumed that if one part of the couple went out, the other would follow. I really didn’t know Rachel too well and I knew even less about her boyfriend, so I kept my thoughts to myself.

“Well, whatever you decide, I’ll be there anyway. I mean, now I’ll know at least someone at the party, right? I guess it won’t be all that bad.”

It was comforting to know that in a large crowd of rowdy teenagers, there was one person I knew, one who I could go to. Not that Rachel and I were suddenly best friends, but for some reason or another, I trusted her. She wouldn’t ignore me at the party or try to avoid me, like some others might do to the ‘new guy.’

“And if your ex tries to give you any trouble, you’ve got backup.”

I wasn’t much of a brawler. I had been in a few fights in my day. I mean, that was normal for a teenage boy, right? I didn’t prefer to throw punches, I actually hated fighting. I preferred to try to talk things out, even if by 'talking' I really meant setting someone straight, but if someone threatened or insulted one of my friends, they’d feel the full weight of my being against them.